Dear Special Parent,
You know your child better than anyone. If you feel something is amiss, trust your instincts. It's crucial to consult your child's doctor about health concerns, but sometimes your concerns might not be fully acknowledged. This could be due to miscommunication, differing perspectives, or the doctor's hectic schedule. Such situations are understandably frustrating and stressful, but there are effective steps you can take to address this.
Step 1 - Clearly Communicate Your Concerns
The first step is to clearly and assertively communicate your concerns. Here’s how you can do that:
1. Be Specific:
Provide detailed information about your child’s symptoms, behaviors, and any changes you’ve noticed. Use a journal or notes to document these details. For example, instead of saying, “My child seems off,” you might say, “Over the past two weeks, my child has been having trouble sleeping, seems unusually irritable, and has developed a rash on their arms.”
2. Ask Questions:
Don’t be afraid to ask the doctor specific questions. For example, “What could be causing these symptoms?” or “What tests can we do to rule out certain conditions?” Asking direct questions can help steer the conversation and ensure your concerns are addressed.
3. Express Your Worries:
Clearly state why you are worried. For instance, “I’m concerned because these symptoms are affecting my child’s daily life and school performance.” Expressing your worries in a calm but firm manner can help the doctor understand the seriousness of the situation.
Step 2 - Seek a Second Opinion
If you feel that your concerns are still not being taken seriously, it may be time to seek a second opinion. Here’s why this is important and how to go about it:
1. Why Seek a Second Opinion:
Another doctor may have a different perspective or more experience with your child’s specific symptoms. This can provide additional insights and reassurance.
2. How to Seek a Second Opinion:
You can start by asking your current doctor for a referral to a specialist or another healthcare provider. You can also reach out to your network of special parents for recommendations. It’s perfectly okay to say, “I’d like to get a second opinion on this issue to ensure we’re exploring all possibilities.”
3. Gathering Documentation:
Before your appointment with the second doctor, gather all relevant medical records, test results, and notes. This will help the new doctor quickly understand your child’s medical history and current concerns.
Step 3 - Advocate for Your Child
Finally, it’s crucial to advocate for your child’s health. Here’s how to be an effective advocate:
1. Stay Informed:
Educate yourself about your child’s condition and potential treatments. Reliable sources like medical websites, books, and support groups can be valuable. The more informed you are, the better you can communicate with healthcare providers.
2. Be Persistent:
If you’re not getting the answers or care your child needs, don’t give up. It might take multiple visits, phone calls, or even changing doctors, but persistence can make a significant difference. Remember, you are your child’s best advocate.
3. Build a Support Network:
Connect with other parents who have similar experiences. They can offer advice, share resources, and provide emotional support. Organizations and online communities for special families can be excellent resources.
Remember, your concerns as a parent are valid, and it’s crucial to ensure your child receives the best possible care. By clearly communicating your concerns, seeking second opinions, and advocating persistently, you can navigate the healthcare system more effectively. Your voice matters, and your child deserves the best. Trust yourself, stay informed, and never hesitate to seek the support you need.
Dr. Kimberly
Dr. Kimberly Idoko
Certified Special Parent Coach
Dr. Kimberly is the mother and fierce advocate of Aiden and Lexi; Lexi is developmentally disabled by Rett Syndrome. Dr. Kimberly is a board-certified neurologist in clinical practice for more than 15 years; she is also a children’s rights attorney — the former director of healthcare advocacy at a Los Angeles-based legal agency. She is Yale College, Penn Medicine, Columbia Business, and Stanford Law trained.
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